The past 60 days

I really don’t know how long it has been since we have been under “shelter in place” orders but 60 days sounds like a good round number.  I typically do not post these entries to the public on my blog but I feel the need to share my feelings. 

It has been interesting watching my social media feed.  I liked seeing all the fun things that people were doing.  Honestly it also sometimes made me feel jealous that I may not been included, or it was impossible for me to do.  Now, these types posts have gone and replaced with memes and spiritual/uplifting messages.  These messages are nice/funny/uplifting, but I cannot connect with them as I could with people and pictures.  It is lonely on social media these days.

I consider my self one of the fortunate ones.  I am still employed.  My family and I are healthy. However, I have, as a new manager, to make decisions that affect others.  I have had to let talented employees go, cut hours and have seen revenue streams dry up.  I have friends and family lose employment and health.  It is not fair.

I took my family across the country away from friends and family at the beginning of the year in hopes to start something better.  We were here long enough to start to make acquaintances and building friendships to have the doors slammed shut and connections fade.  We wave to our neighbors and to people we see. I have plenty of people around me but no one to talk to.

We had plans to do so much with the kids.  We are grateful that we were able to make it to DC once before the shutdown.  Parks and trails are closed.  There are so many things that we want to do that we crossed off the calendar.  The kids are bored and feel they need to occupy the time with screens.  I want to go places, but places are closed.

When the news started that we might shut down, I planned out some projects to fill any extra time that I might have during this time of uncertainty.  These included a couple of nightstands with traditional joinery, the projects with the kids, and some home improvement projects.  Many are almost completed, and I am running out of the things that I planned to do.  There is nothing to do anymore.

I am hearing that things are opening with conditions attached.  Slowly, and some quickly, states are starting to go back to a new normal.  Information is confusing and often contradictory.  We are trying to do what is asked.  These times are uncertain and confusing.

I am using technology to connect, have meetings.  Face to face social interaction has been replaced with face to screen.  My company is starting to invest in better AV equipment to cut down on travel expenses.  We are connected in several different platforms. It just is not the same as discussing a problem in a room, face to face.  I see and hear others but do not feel and connect with others.

If you have read this and are concerned, don’t be.  I am fine.  Things are different and they will be for some time.  We will get through this.